Coming soon to a theater near you and what army of darkness my old friendly neighborhood spider man of the people's republic of china phillips screwdriver…

Joe six-pack abs of steel magnolias is Paul Newman playing Steve McQueen as Charles Brosnon in Sam Peckinah's “Burt Lancaster: The Gary Cooper” story.

In a world of hurt locker room with a view finder's keeper's losers weeper's reapers beep-beeping down the street of dreamers sleeping deeper and crepe-paper creeping after a coffee-and creamer internet streamer sweeping the rhythm nation space station plantation of the dust and debris of Debra Messing's mess-hall-turned dance-hall free-for all, one man will face his greatest nightmare as his every fantasy becomes a virtual reality-based descent into the nascent madness of an ancient happiness personified.

Get your tickets now.

Carmen Electra.

Don't miss what critics are calling at all hours of the night lights big city chitty bang bang your head cheese toast proposed to those whose clothes froze while their noses drippy-dripped dripped and slippedity-doo-dah slippy-dipped a parsnip into that cool-ass ranch dressing Mabel made with a pitcher of marma-laden lederhosen yodeling later hoser while Darth Vader's cousin and Ruth Bader Ginsberg methed around with a Heisenberg sized hindenburg filled to the gills with five guys burger and fries like an eagle, to the sea shanty, antidoting anecdotes like these.

And if you order now and then there were none of your business as usual suspected of treason is the reason for the season of the witch one of these is not like the other mother but the same grandmother, we'll throw in the throw-up Henry David Thoreau threw up his hands like he just don't care.

CarmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmm… Enelectra.