All of the stories. So far.

• “Show, Don’t Tell” Can Go to Hell
• 1-800-GET-BACK
• 5th of May, and Me No Burrito
• 9:45
• A Bag of Broken Groceries
• A Blind Man’s Vision of Midnight
• A Bucket of Fried Chicken
• A Conversation
• A Day In The Life of the Earl
• A Different Kind of Fan Fiction
• A Fine Day In Our Department Store
• A For Rent Sign Stuck In The Yard The Next Day
• A Ghost in the Sun
• A Good Man is Hard to Fine for Jaywalking
• A Hazy Shade of Thin Mint
• A Minor Incident at Parkwood and 45th
• A Perfect Conversation
• A Really Good Cup of Joe
• A Resurrection
• A Story with Sex In
• A Thursday Night in July
• A Vampiric History: Cerrick and Iggy
• Abrir Los Brazos Como Se Abren Los Ojos
• Addicted to Running but Didn’t Realize it until He Got a Bad Cramp and Had to Stop
• Airports Pretty Much Suck
• All Children In His Eyes
• Allusions
• An Amnesiac Does The New York Times Crossword Puzzle
• An Average, Everyday Story
• An Exciting Tale
• And They’re All A Positive
• Another Corporate Meeting
• Any Old Fin Can Happen
• Apology Expected
• As There Are Laws, There is Now Need for Unlaws
• Bad Motorcycalia
• Baghdad Etude
• Ballad of the Almost
• Bananas! Zombies!
• Bar. Dark. Drunk. Shots of Whiskey, Sips of Beer. Crappy Baseball Game on TV. Overweight. Almost 30.
• Batman Quits
• Being Mila Kunis
• Beware of the Doug
• Big Mac with Fries
• Billy Bob Thornton
• Black Mesh Rodeo
• Blood Thicker
• Blueberry Muffins
• Breakfast of Mushrooms
• Breakup Deli
• Broke my Trigger Finger
• Burn Notice: A Review
• But Frederick, You Died Last Week
• Calculation, from Latin, Calx, Meaning Small Stone
• Calculus Calculus
• Celebrate Bloodless Coup
• Chapter Seven
• Chatter
• Chivalry
• Chores Done!
• Christmas Story
• Circle Six
• Congratulations
• Consumption Is the Definition of Food
• Corny Love Poem, 2000
• Cougars, Tigers, and Milfs, Oh My
• Cowards in the Face of Time
• Cowboy Coffee
• Cuadrado Punto
• Dana’s Got Hips
• Dash Dash Dash
• David Meets Gloria
• Deadpool Review
• Dear Son:
• Death by Laundry
• Death Gets Served
• Death Got Served
• Depth of Meaning in an Apparently Simple Poem
• Dex Boulder
• Diary of a Mad Man
• Different Rules, Same Game
• Dilemma
• Dinnertime
• Do the Math, Waco
• Doctor Chicago
• Dodecon’s Butch
• Don’t Tell Mr. Peterson
• Don’t Go, Jason Waterfalls
• Doug
• Down On Coral Street
• Dueling Banjos
• Duncan Heights
• E-Mail to My Cousin’s Best Man re: Bachelor Party
• E-Mail to One of My Cousin’s Groomsman re: Bachelor Party
• Earnest vs. the Bottle
• Electric Cab Opener
• Elevator
• Elevator
• Encore!
• Even the Devil Hates Halloween
• Everybody Misses Victoria
• Execution Requires Preparation
• Exegesis is Masturbation
• Existential Job
• Extradition
• Fahrenheit 145
• Fat Martha
• Fate for Dummies
• Fatigues
• Fingers and Toes
• Fol-de-rol-de-ray-do-day
• For Doris
• For Edgar Sex
• From Swanson’s Le Roy Qui ne Peut pas Marcher
• Genesis
• Gnivigsknaht
• Gratuitous Violence
• Gravy Stains
• Halloween Story
• Hardy Laughter
• Hather, Crusader
• He Has Not Forgiven You; He’s Made You Mad
• He Wants To Be Productive
• Heat is Measured in Calories
• Helping Marjorie With Her Artificial Leg
• High School Violence
• Hillbillilluminatti
• Home Office Virtual Ticket Blues
• Homicide Epistles
• Hopscotch
• Hortense Goes for a Walk
• How Does One Rank Sushi Chefs?
• How to Write Short Fiction
• How We Lost Our Jobs (Later We Got New Jobs)
• How’d You Like To Go To Mars?
• Hugh’s Bris
• I Am Getting So Damn Tired of All These Ninjas in My House
• I Bet You’re Amazing Too
• I Love Roger
• I started
• I Used to Write All the Time
• I’ll Sleep When I’m Reborn
• Icy Drops of Water Running Down the Side
• If You Believe In Cause and Effect
• Impossible Escape
• In Their Own Words: Famous Dutch Philosophers
• International Dadaism Month
• It Might Rain Any Time
• It’s A Symbol
• It’s March 28th, 2005
• James Brown
• John 11:35
• John Smith
• Just a Pipe
• Just Another Tuesday
• Karate-Chop Jones
• Kathy Scotland
• Kleesh
• Knit One, Purl Two
• Kow Pow
• Last Night on the Game Show
• Lemon Jefferson, Stripper-Pole Salesman
• Lemons
• Lemons (2nd person)
• Lester Waiting
• Let’s Say You Don’t Know Anything About Fly Fishing
• Letter of Recommendation for Victoria Sevilla
• Lev Grettel, Crucifixion Specialist
• Life Without Chairs
• Little Red, Riding
• Loser Chic
• Louis Manger
• Make Believe is Fun
• Man of the House Now
• Marge
• Max Is a Total Retard
• Messin’ With Texas
• Meth for Moms
• Microwave Popcorn
• Midlife Crisis
• Missing Jesse
• Movie Review: Spice World
• Mr. Luigi’s Delicious Pizzas
• Murdering Our Mothers
• My Illegal Aliens
• My Sister Sam
• Never His Father’s Son
• Neverything’s the Same
• Night Terror
• No Loitering
• No Loitering
• No One Escaped
• No Snacks
• No, I’m Not
• Nobody Got Killed
• Nostalgia Means Now Tastes Bad
• Now What Am I Going to Do for Eyes?
• On The Day of My Mother’s Funeral I Woke Up A Changed Man
• One Vagina in Particular
• One/Every/One Thing
• Page 193-195 of The Norton Anthology of Self-Indulgent White Boy Writers
• Paranoia is a Rorschach Test
• Parody of an Anime Parody
• Passing Sentence
• Pearls Before Swine
• Permutations
• Phil’s Bed and Breakfast
• Popcorn and Powder
• Private Seneca, Reporting for Duty
• Pub Crawl
• Puget Sound Thunder Lizard
• Queen’s Gambit
• Rain
• Raining Zombies
• Reblisstance
• Recycle that Water that Falls from Your Eyes
• Reverse Stalking
• Review of the Film Elf
• Riot Breaks Out at Sociologists Conference
• Rocks
• Ross Lytton Says
• Running Away
• Scalene
• Scary Algebra Story
• Scary English Class Story
• Scary Sock-Hop Story
• Seduction
• September 18th, 1994
• She Said
• Six Months After She Moved Away from Washington DC
• Sometime Around Eight in the Evening
• Sorry, Lacey
• Space Aliens Have Landed In The American Midwest
• Spirit
• Staring at Faulty Films
• Staring at Faulty Films
• Staying Sexy
• Steak and Robotic Eggs
• Steak and Robotic Eggs
• Step On A Crack
• Sting the Bees
• Storm In Winter
• Sucks To Be You
• Suicide Fantasies
• Suicide Note
• Sung Lee’s
• Supper
• Tales from Halcyon Detectives: Old Masters
• Talking to Appliances
• Team Meeting
• Ted? Don’t You Love Me Anymore?
• Thank You for Banking with First National
• Thanksgiving Story
• The 9-Volt Battery
• The Arm
• The Barely Tale
• The Best Pie in Town
• The Blinding White Walls of Z’at Ki Dak
• The Butler Did It
• The Cactus Who Wears Sunglasses at the Monster Truck Rally
• The Celerity Club
• The Chess Game
• The Clothes that Women Wear
• The Color of Television
• The Custodians
• The Devil Inside, a Bad Film Review
• The Embrace
• The Good Enough Life
• The Great White Nope
• The Head that Wears a Burning Crown
• The House Seller
• The Jeff Webb Blues
• The Last Day Of Amile Leadbetter
• The Men’s Restroom at The Herb Farm
• The Most Important Person in the Restaurant
• The Next Panel (a writing exercise)
• The Odd Spy
• The Only Damn Love Story I Hope I Ever Write
• The Opposite of Angst
• The Other Sisyphus
• The Packaging Costs More than the Food
• The Perfect Crime: Perfect Justice
• The Phone
• The Scare Crow
• The Secret Red Book
• The Short Story Experiment
• The Slave Ship
• The Sleek Silver Robot
• The Soul-Ship Raven in the Pendragon Star System
• The Squirrel Interviews Satan
• The Summer Job
• The Sun is Shining and it is Raining
• The Tale of Albert Hand
• The Things People Will Do
• The To Be Verb Killed Kurt Cobain
• The Town Council Meeting
• The Trouble with Moe
• The Turbine
• The Way of the Hummingbird
• The Wet Spot
• The Wind Off the Bay
• The Witch Nutella
• There is Nothing in My Head
• There Was Also A Footman In The Room, But No One Paid Him Any Attention
• There’s No I In Assume
• Thesaurus Store
• Things Sure Do Get Boring Without You Here
• This is Why They Number Channels Sequentially
• Three Kinds of Love
• Three Quarks for Muster Mark
• Throwing Stones
• Thus He Spake of Adoration
• Today is Saturday
• Too Many Toes
• Tropes of Cancer
• Try
• Tsogh Story
• Twenty Three Dollars and Forty Two Cents
• Twenty Three Dollars and Forty Two Cents
• Twins
• Two Learnéd English Gentleman Having a Discussion
• Unable House
• Unstoppable and Unmovable Come to An Accord
• Vegas Tap Water
• Visiting the Hospital
• Waiter
• Waiting for Michelle
• War is Hell ™
• We Accidentally Found a Trillion Dollars
• Welcome to Lou’s Bar
• Welcome to The Infinite Robot World
• What It’s Like, Looking Like George Clooney
• What’s In A Name
• When the Tough Get Going
• William Johnson
• Wine, Women, and Song
• Women and Men
• Yeezy 350 Boost Moonrocks
• YOU Are the Experiment
• You Too, Steve?
• Your Name Was Albert