I'm standing under the awning in front of the Circle K, I've got sore thumbs and sore eyes because I've been playing Alien Versus Predator for the last three hours, I have exercised considerable control because even though the God damned Predator kicked my ass repeatedly I did not spend my last three dollars on quarters but instead on a Tasty Dog and Big Ol' Coke Combo. I walked to the Circle K in the late-morning splendor of sun and clouds and blue sky and happiness and contentedness and pre-kicking the Predator's ass bliss that is your usual early November day in western Nevada, and now it is raining. I cannot go home. I'll get wet.

So what do I do? I've eaten my Tasty Dog and thrown the wrapper out into the rain in disgust, I've drunk my Big Ol' Coke and kicked the cup out into the rain in disgust, I've scrunched up my receipt for the Combo and flung it out into the rain in disgust, and not even an a-hole with enough presence of mind to tell me to quit my God damned littering has happened by and told me that so that I could justify going out into the rain to yell at his or her scrawny ass. Then I'd already be wet and not care for having just kicked ass and I could go on home and if my brother isn't there I could sneak a peak at his Hustler Magazine collection.

And the sun is still shining. It is trying to trick me into going out into the rain, it is trying to convince me that it is only raining here at the Circle K, that if I just sprint it for a few minutes that I will get to the sunny part and be able to just walk on home at my leisure, that I will feel good for the dash and my heart will pounding and my face will turn up to the rays and I will feel all aglow in anticipation of looking at Judy Loveknockers, Hustler's Beaver of the Month for November, and more aglow for having my heart pounding in my chest after the run and my toes squashing happily in my shoes from the puddles and my face warmed in that God damned sun.

But it can't fool me. I know. I have lived in this town all my life. I know. I know that in this town, what you think you're gonna get is not what you get at all. I know. I know that Judy Loveknockers will be just a little bit saggy here and there, just a little bit discolored despite the airbrushers' best efforts. I know that tomorrow after I've spoken to Dave on the phone and gotten the secret combo that the Predator will still kick my ass. I know in an hour I'll really wish that I hadn't eaten that Tasty Dog, that in a few minutes I'll wish the guy behind the counter here at the Circle K wasn't such a prickeramous and that he'd let me use the employee restroom. I know. I know that just because the sun is shining, doesn't mean it's not raining. I know.

There are occasional cars driving by, and every one of them has their windows partway down, because every one of them has someone in it who is smoking, and wants the smoke to go out of the car, which doesn't make sense, it is hypocritical, it's okay for it to be in their lungs but not in their car, and they don't want it in their car but it's okay that there's rain getting in the car. I hate them all. They have a car and I don't, they smoke and I can't. They are going someplace and I'm not. They are getting wet and I'm not. They are all bastards and if I was playing a video game, Tasty Dog and Big Ol' Coke Combo Eater Versus Driving in a Car in the Rain with the Windows Down Smoker, I am pretty God damned certain I would kick their ass. And that would make me happy.

God damn it, it is a damn symbol. I need these people, I need to hate them so I can be happy when I kick their ass. I need the rain to notice that the sun is shining, I need the sunshine to notice that it is raining. I need the Tasty Dog so I can see the toilet, I need the the Big Ol' Coke so I can hate the guy behind the counter so I can see the tree which is halfway between here and home and see the lady let her dog out into the yard so I have to run so I can feel my heart beat so I can say in a loud voice how much I hate my brother and hate Judy Loveknockers as well so I can sit on the floor at home and wait for Dave to call so I can get the secret combo so I can see how to kick the Predator's ass so I can kick its ass so I can finally eat the Tasty Dog and Big Old Coke Deluxe Combo which comes with nachos because I'll have enough money left over because I won't have spent it all on the game because Dave gave me the code cause I called him cause I was bored cause my brother was home which meant I couldn't peek at Judy which meant I had ran home for nothing and got wet for nothing and all this God damned rain and sunshine was for nothing.

Wait. It stopped raining.