What.

Lookit that.

What.

That car.

What.

That car right there, that great big shiny one.

.S'red.

I know it's red, ya goddamn idgit. Just look at it.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

.What.

Ya fool, can't ya hear that noise?

Oh yeah. Boom boom, ba booom oom oom.

It's damn irrritating, I'll tell you.

Ba boom ba boom oom oom.

Foolish, that is.

Boomoom oomoom oomoomoom.

I know what it sounds like! Jesus!

It's loud.

Yeah, I wish I had me a dangle big as that boy's got.

Yeah, me too.

Must be a foot long, that boy.

Dragging on the floor

Gets it caught in his shoelaces, it does.

Caught in doors, too.

.What are you talking about?

His johnson. Must be two foot long.

No no, I was being sarcastic, ya damn fool.

Betcha he passes out when he sees a purty lady.

Goddamn it, doncha know what sarcasm is?

Sure I do. That's when ya tell it like it is.

No it's not. I was making fun of the boy. I'm sayin' his car is prolly compensation.

Huh?

You know. he's prolly hung like a minnow, and he needs that car to make up for it.

How ya figger?

You know how it is. Kids these days. Got their big cars, with big old tires. Great big goddamn stereos.

Boobooboo oomoomoom.

Yeah. And it's all cause they got little tiny fellows dangling 'tween their legs.

Ya don't say.

It's true. In our day, there weren't no diseases, 'cept maybe a little syphillis now and then. But these kids, they got all manner a disease?

Yeah. Like homersekshality.

'Zactly. They run around, screwin' like rabbits, where the damn things down to nubs!

And tattoos and piercin' their eyelids.

It's god awful is what it is.

And takin drugs and shootin out windas.

That's right. And driving great big cars, all cause they done worked their willies down ta nuthin!

Yeah.

S'awful.

Yeah. . Say, what's that mean?

Huh?

Well, if they got little buddies, little ones cause they're docking with every port on the bay.

Uh-huh.

Well then, I must be hung like Jesus hisself!

Huh. I betchoo are.

'Cept back in 43, a course. I guess I was down ta a little red bump.

Got a lot in 43, didja?

Oh my, yes. Nurses was all the craze back then. Musta been the war. Why I remember one gal.

Of course, what I want to know is, where do they get the money ta buy this stuff.

She was swedish, ya know. Least I think she was.

That crap ain't cheap. Mustang'll run around 20 grand.

Maybe she was French, I could never tell.

And it's not like they're all rich. Rich folks live in Hollywood, or New York City.

Didn't matter really. We didn't do much talkin.

And those speakers, too. Them's damn expensive- buy your groceries for a year, they would.

Not that our mouths were going slack from a lack of use, ya understan'.

They can't have jobs- they're too young to work.

One time, we snuck off behind the hospital, just me an her, one of them gurney's, and about a mile or two of that surgical gauze.

Besides, they spend all day, driving through supermarket parkin' lots, playing that damn music.

It was nice, real nice. Would've been better if we'd locked down the wheels on that gurney.

It's not even music.

Course, we didn't notice till we were in the parking lots, headin' for that big ol' ambelance.

Just a bass thump with some fool chanting like a auctioneer with a bottle of hot sauce up his keister.

Lordy, it still took me about ten minutes to figger out it was gravity and not my know-how that was making her holler like a chimpanzee in a banana farm.

Fool words like, I'm the rapper man fella who's got your shiny big em cee aye.

'Bout killed me, seeing as how she wouldn't do it no other way after that.

Let's shoot us some car windas and party all god damn day.

So there's me, every sat'day night, pushing that gurney down the street, buck-ass naked and tryng to keep my yankee doodle dandy out of the gears and such.

And if it aint that rap nonsense, it's all them geetars and drums and fellas screamin' about satan and wearin' pantyhose and setting their hair on fire.

They got songs about wearin' pantyhose?

No, you damn fool, they wear the pantyhose, and then sing about fires and deestruction and women in fast cars.

How come?

Cause they're lazy good fer nuthin's, that's how come! When you and me was their age, we knew the value of a hard day's sweat, we knew what it meant to plan for the future, we knew that if you want to have your cake and eat it too, you gotta break few eggs and get your hand's covered with flour!

No, how come they wear pantyhose?

Oh, I don't know. Fairies.

Yeah. Damn leprachauns.

No, they're all inta that biseckshality.

What, like have both parts?

No, that's bein' a transitive sexual. Naw, biseckshality is when you go with boys and girls both.

At the same time?

Mebbe.

No. Really?

When we were their age, men was men and women was women and you didn't mix 'em all up.

Well, shore you did.

Not in numbers more'n two. And that was just cause- well, parts is parts.

That's right. And like ya say, we knew how to bake cakes with broken eggs and flour all over the place.

Right.

My momma used to bake cakes that would make you wanna go break a bunch more eggs, and put flour down your pants!

And that's what it is, too, these kids ain't got no role models.

Jump up and down and holler and eat so much of it you get so sick you're like to have a belly ache for a month!

Where's Ike? MacArthur? Mantle? Dimaggio?

Dead.

Thas' right. Dead. So now who kids got to look up to?

Ida know. Not you an' me.

Nope, not us.

Nope.

.

.

So, did this nurse have an sisters?

Never more'n two at the same time.