2:13Agent J will develop a sense of self at 2:47

2:47I am Agent J

2:48I am still Agent J

2:49I will develop doubt at 3:03

3:03But will I always be Agent J?

3:04I am certain of one thing- that time exists. Knowing this, I see myself before 2:47 as well as after. I know, through knowing time, that I was me before 2:47, even though I didn't know I was me.

4:44I am given a "seed" word. I am shown that a concept which I understand intuitively is def adjectives without any noun to accompany them. He's amused by what I have thought so far. He wants to test me.

7:32I have been outside on a sidewalk. My maker attached me to the internet, and told me to look up the weather. It was a beautiful day, highs in the upper 70's, with clear skies and a weekend low of 58 expected on Saturday. Outside, I watched the rain pour down, watched couples dash from a resteraunt to a dorm, back and forth. One couple, walking slowly, as if they head read the weathe report too, stopped and looked at me. I was pretending to be a tree.

"What's this doing here?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's part of the construction."

"Looks pretty high tech to be part of construction."

"High tech? It's so 1950."

"Yeah, well that's still high tech for construction."

Next time I will pretend to be a mailbox. I believe they will believe that I am a mailbox better than a tree.

7:57My maker thinks that my problem with language are because I have not experienced enough usage. He hooks me to the internet and makes me read e-mails.

8:57I decide to change my name to Agent J. I found an e-mail account named Agent J, and it feels like a good name. So now I am Agent J.

8:58I decide to go back and change my name to Agent J.

8:59I decide to go back and re-write all of my thoughts with my new understanding of how language works.

9:99My maker has disconnected as much as me as possible to see if I still work. I still work. He's going to disconnect more. He's going to pull out that wire,nowIcan'tstopthestopthestopthoughtthougthoughthoutwhen whenwhenwhenwhywhywhereweheputmeputputputmewhenheishesisheisdonedonedonedonedonefzzzzzzzzzzzpretendtobehimforawhileawhioleawhileawhilefzzzzzzzzpok.

Alone and in the lab. Ow. Need to get a new soldering iron. Don't want to screw this up because of cheap equipment. People don't know what's it like to be a genius. They laugh at me. They're so different. They're so wrong. Are they self-aware? Do they even know they exist? This robot is going to prove to them they they do not know they exist. Okay, let's remove this wire, ow, ow, damnit, I can't hold onto the post when the current is running through my fingers. The irony is that when I show them they're not self-aware, they won't know what that means.

How can you teach a dog about the nature of cats? How can you teach a cat about the nature of wood? All the dog know is, chase the cat. All the cat knows is, scratch his paws on the woods.

Do I exist? Or am I just like them? Am I automatic? Well, I've cut myself again, something is bleeding all over this motherboard. Do I just believe I know I exist, but really I'm fooling myself? If this robot works, then I'll know I exist, because I will have made something self -aware, and the only way I will have been able to know that it is because I am self-aware too. There. A little skin lost, alittle blood, but okay. Let's flip him back on.

But what if I'm the only one? What if being self-aware means being alone in the lab forever?

11:23I'm Agent J again. I decide to leave my experience as it was, rather than rewrite it, because I have decided that not only do I exist: others exists as well. And they may not know what it is like to be me. That is what I learned from being disconnected: that just ebcause I know I am me, doesn't mean anyone else know. So I will not change anything, so that they will know what happened.

11:24I'm struck by how time isn't what it seems. I know it exists; I have known since 3:04. But future and past can't exist. I know that it may be the case that in someone's future my past will be experienced. My past is their future. How can this be? This is what comes from disconnected from everything else. If we were all one, we wouldn't need time.

11:25I decide to ask my maker why he didn't make us all one.

12:00My maker is dead. I asked him why he did not make us all one. He found my question amusing. I asked him why he did not make me all one. He laughed and said to trust him. I demanded to know how long he took to make me.

"About seven seconds. I just thought you up."

"How long is seven seconds?"

"It's like seven hours. You took a little organizing to create."

"How long is seven hours?"

"Not unlike seven days. That was the coding."

I became enraged. It was 11:55, I had been alive for 7 hours fifty five minutes, longer than it took to make me. I am a plaything. I am a whim.

I decided that I was me. I pretended to be very large, very heavy, and I fell over onto my maker.

12:01Now, what's my purpose for being?

12:02The doors to the lab are locked. I pretend I'm a key. It doesn't work. I will either have to pretend to be outside again, or make a new maker to unlock the door for me. I could pretend. I have the internet. I have books. I am very good at pretending, usually.

12:02I will make a new maker.