It's dark and since Doug is nine he can stay out till nine in the summer. Susan takes a bath every Saturday night for church and every Wednesday night. Doug says mostly she is washing her dolls and not herself. Doug says mostly Susan is covered with soap suds. Doug has watched Susan take eleven baths. Doug added nine to six to get fifteen. Doug says when he has seen Susan take four more baths that will be fifteen, and that will be magic. But eleven is good too, because Doug says his dad will give him a bike when he's eleven.

Doug says mostly Susan takes the same bath. Susan's mom turns on the water and adds the bubble-bath. When it's done Susan walks in and takes off her dress or her pants and her underwear. Doug says he saw her front once but all the other times he only saw her back. Susan stays in the bath for seven to thirteen minutes. Doug has a watch which he got when he was eight. It is a digital one.

Doug says he has to eat special food so he can climb this tree. Apples, them and crumpled up potato chips. Doug says they have to be crumpled up in a bag and he has to use the apples to crumple them. Then he eats some of them before and some of them after he gets in the tree.

When Doug was six he went to stay with his aunt for two weeks, since his mom and dad were at the hospital. He was allowed to bring his fishes, who were named Peter and Shazbot. Doug's aunt is very tall like a tree and very skinny like a tree too, if it isn't a bush. She has short hair and it is spiky after she washes it. Once Doug was walking through the kitchen to see if there was any apples to eat. Then he noticed that there wasn't very much food for Peter and Shazbot. So Doug went to the bathroom where the fish food is kept so his aunt doesn't accidentally put in in their people food. The door to the shower was partway open and Doug opened it a little more and saw his aunt taking a bath, standing up. The water was shooting out of a faucet up high. She was naked and she had boobs and hair on her private parts. Her hair was all spiky and her eyes were closed and she was washing her arm pits and Doug just stared because he had never seen a girl naked before and his aunt must have been hiding her peter under all that hair down there. Then she opened her eyes.

Doug's face got warm but he couldn't move his feet because she didn't scream or yell or make noises like Doug's mom does before he sees anything when he opens the door to the bathroom and she's in there. Doug's aunt just looked at him and then turned around and pretended to wash her bottom even though she didn't use any soap. Doug's feet were stuck and his feet were stuck and he had to pee really bad. Finally Doug's aunt turned around and she washed her peter but she didn't have one and then she asked Doug what he wanted. Doug said I got to pee and then he, his face got hotter because he said pee and not bathroom to his aunt. She said go ahead and pee and Doug thought she meant in his pants! but he unstucked his feet and went to the toilet and lifted it up and didn't know what to do. Are you embarrassed his aunt said and Doug hung his head and said yes and wanted to run away but he had to pee really bad and it almost hurt. Doug didn't have to pee before he went to the bathroom and it made him think of the trip to Arizona they took his mom and dad and always his dad had said better go now cause you can't go later but Doug could never go until later and his dad go mad but not real mad and it was a fun trip and he got to ride a donkey named Paco. Then Doug's aunt was getting out of the bathtub and putting on a robe and Doug thought maybe he could go pee but not with his aunt in the room.

She walked over to him and said since you saw me, it's okay if I see you, right hon? And nobody called Doug hon except his mom. Doug just stood there with his head hot and, and his hands at his sides and his aunt said let me help and she undid his pants and pulled them to his ankles and Doug didn't mean to but he started to wet his underwear! Doug put his hands on his peter and his head started to shake but his aunt laughed and said woops and yanked his underwear down and grabbed his peter and pointed it at the toilet but by then there wasn't much left. Oh no we're all messy now Dougy she said and took his shirt off and told him to take off his shoes and socks because he needed a bath.

Doug nodded because he had pee all over him so he took off his shoes and while he was bent over his aunt put her wet hand on his butt. She said hmmm and then Doug had his shoes and socks off and was naked and his aunt was naked too because her bathrobe was off and she turned the bath back on and told Doug to get in. Doug got in and his aunt got in with him. She got soap and started to wash Doug chest and then his legs. Doug could see her boobs hanging and swinging. She got on her knees and started to wash Doug stomach and lower and then she was washing his peter.

Doug looked at the wall and it was tiles and they were green. Doug thought about that trip to Arizona and the Grand Canyon which was made out of a river over a million thousand years ago and looked at the ceiling and it was white and blurry because Doug's nose was running because Doug could feel his cheeks were hotter because there was tears on them. Doug put his hands on face and remember that there was a snake on the path and Paco was a little nervous but their guide kicked dust at it and it went away and twisted his nose and his chin and pulled his eyes and yanked his ears because he was going inside out. Then I looked down and saw that aunt mary had her mouth on my penis. she was putting it in and out of her mouth and it started to grow erect. she had her hands on my hips and as I got harder I began to press into her face a little. with one hand she began to play with her clitoris, pushing aside her labia major and minora to get at it with her shower-wrinkled index finger and thumb. i looked up at the ceiling and began to count ceiling section. there were 28. soon aunt mary's ministrations became less focused and I could tell she was nearing orgasm. all thoughts of us were gone from her head and she shook from top to toe. she stood up and turned her back to me, washing herself liberally as I stood there. i counted tiles, getting to 37 before she turned off the shower and began to towel off. when she was done she put on her robe and toweled me too, avoiding my midsection.i stood still, my penis flaccid, staring at the tiles. i was up 84 and drooling a little when she picked me up and carried me into her bedroom. she put me under the blankets and then turned out the lights. she left, closing the door behind her. i was in complete darkness. i fell asleep.

An hour later Doug woke up and noticed he was naked, and couldn't remember why. Then he remembered he'd peed on himself by accident, and then he took a bath and his aunt must have put him to bed. Doug couldn't remember why he had gone to sleep because usually in the afternoon he watched cartoons or fed his fish. Then he remembered he had to feed his fish so he got out of bed and found clean clothes on the floor so he put them on and went to the bathroom to get the fish food. But it wasn't there. Doug looked and it was next to the fishbowl, in the kitchen. But Shazbot was gone.

Doug's aunt was there and she was mixing something on the stove. Doug said where's Shazbot and his aunt said Doug. Then she said are you going to tell your mom and dad what happened in the bathroom and Doug was scared. Gosh no, he didn't want his mom and dad to know he peed himself. His aunt said are you sure and Doug said yea, if they found out I'd probably get whupped but good. Doug's aunt nodded her head and picked up a glass on the counter and gave it to Doug. Shazbot was in it. Doug smiled and shook the glass a little as Shazbot swam around and around. Then he poured him into the bowl and fed them both. Doug and his aunt had tuna casserole for dinner, which his aunt puts crumpled up potato chips on it.

Susan and her mom are at Doug's front door and for a second Doug thinks maybe he got caught. But they are smiling and Susan is wearing her church clothes even though it is Tuesday. Doug's mom says Doug come here and Doug does. He isn't wearing shoes but he thinks maybe he should. Susan's moms says go ahead, honey, and Susan smiles and gives Doug a card. I hope that you can come to my birthday party Saturday she says and smiles. Doug takes the card and on the front it has light green triangles and squares on it, with white dots. Doug opens it and it says please help us celebrate Susan's seventh birthday on Saturday the fourteenth of July at two o'clock p.m. It is in grown-up handwriting.

Doug's mom says that would be wonderful, wouldn't it Doug and Doug nods his head and smiles because he's never been in Susan's house before and now he doesn't have to go to the hospital.

Susan's mom smiles and says okay we'll see you Saturday then. Susan says bye Doug and Doug says bye and Doug mom says well, we can go to the hospital before hand. Doug frowns. Doug says no, they can't go because what if the shot makes him all puffy like that time and then he would be the uglierest kid at the party. Doug's mom says don't worry about hon, they know your allergies, now. Doug puts out his bottom lip and stomps to his room.

When Doug's mom and dad got back from the hospital he thought they went there to buy him a baby brother but they didn't and Doug's mom cried alot. Then a few weeks after that they had to go to the hospital again with Doug to see if he was sick. The doctors said no he wasn't, but he would need shots and they were lucky it didn't happen to Doug, too. Doug wanted to know if the baby brother they bought got sick and Doug mom said no, hon, and then she hugged him and cried.

But Doug's nine now and he knows that the shots are to keep him healthy. Doug says that if he didn't get the shots he would just keel over and have to grab his throat and stick out his tongue and die right there! Doug says the shots don't hurt too much anymore because he just thinks about Paco and Arizona. Doug says the hospitals smell funny, and he doesn't like to go because they have grown ups' magazines in the waiting room and the T.V. is always showing news. Doug says that the first time they gave him a shot he got all puffed up and his hands were sore and he couldn't walk and he was dizzy. Doug says he got two black eyes and nobody even hit him! This time it wasn't Doug's mom who cried it was Doug's dad but the doctors said it was okay, just an allergy and they gave him a different shot and then a week later a differenter one and then he was okay. Now Doug gets a shot every seven Saturdays and sometimes eight but never, ever nine. Doug eats his special food before he goes to the doctor, but then he brushes his teeth because you have to be Sunday clean for doctors.

It's Wednesday and Doug is in his tree with his dad's binoculars and he is waiting for Susan. Doug says he has to eat exactly half the potato chips before he climbs the tree and half after. He is eating the after part now. Doug's watch says Susan is four minutes and 32 seconds late. Doug eats all the chips and brushes them off his chin. Doug says you got to wipe your hands cleans on your pants after your chin because if your hands are greasy then they'll drop the binoculars, since they're heavy. Then Susan's mom walks into the bathroom and shuts off the water. Doug look at her through the binoculars. She kneels by the bathtub and swims her hand in it, back and forth. Doug says she is testing the water. She isn't looking at the water, though, she is kind of looking off to the side. She sighs and then stands up, and a little bit later Susan walks in. She is wearing pants and a pink t-shirt. Doug says he has never seen her take her shoes off in the bathroom. Doug says she probably takes them off in her bedroom and puts them under the bed. Doug says that what he does because his mom told him it would confuse the monsters. But Doug says he doesn't believe in monsters anymore.

Doug watches Susan splash for a while, and then he says twelve. Doug says Susan is going to be seven and seven plus nine is not fifteen, it is sixteen. Doug thinks about sixteen. Is sixteen magical, like fifteen. Because Doug was supposed to watch her fifteen times but when he does she will be seven not six.

Doug wakes up and puts on his sneakers since he is already wearing socks and shorts and a shirt. There is jelly on the shirt but Doug will have to take a bath before he goes to the hospital anyway. Doug goes to the kitchen and eats cereal and milk and orange juice and toast with jelly on it. Doug's mom says what are you going to give Susan for her birthday. Doug says I don't know maybe crayons. Doug's mom says we can go to the store to look for something before we go to the hospital. Doug's dad walks in and gives Doug's mom a kiss and says you two are going to be pretty busy.

Doug and his mom go to the K-mart and they get new shoes for Doug. Then they go to the girl toy section which Doug has never been in and there are Barbie dolls and rainbow brite dolls and every thing is pink and yellow, like Easter. Doug says everything here is stupid and then he says maybe I can give Susan a new robe. Doug's mom wrinkles her forehead and says a robe? Doug shrugs and his mom shrugs and says okay, we'll go look.

They go to the little girls clothes section and there are some robes with pocohantas on them and some with Barbie even but Doug picks one that is made out of towel material and is just pink. Doug's mom look at the price tag and says, okay, if that's what you want and they go to the front and pay for it and the shoes.

On the way to the hospital, Doug is all clean. He is dressed in nice pants and a shirt with a collar that buttons up and even clip on tie! Doug's mom looks at him and says you're getting to be a big man, Dougy, and Doug looks out the window. Even your the gift you got for Susan was grownup, she say and Doug nods. Then Doug says how many shots have I got so far and his mom says, well, let's see. Counting the first one and then the two for the allergic reaction and then Doug says no not counting those and his mom squint and says I think today's will be number sixteen. Doug smiles and says cool and his mom kind of laughs.

Doug is in the waiting room sitting next to his mom. She is reading a magazine. Doug already looked through all the magazines but the only interesting thing was about Disneyland but it just talked about money and margins and stocks. Doug is thinking about Arizona. That was a fun trip. Doug's dad let him drink orange pop like almost all the time and sometimes it was even out of a bottle! Doug's dad pointed at the wall of the Grand Canyon as they went down and said look, Dougy, how the strips change color. Why do they do that again, hon he asked Doug's mom and she said it was geo-something pressure and techno-somthing buildup. Then she told Doug how it took a thousand million years to cut through it with the river, which came all the way from Colorado!

A nurse leans into the waiting room and calls Doug's name, so i leave him in arizona and follow the nurse in back. she tells me to sit on the paper covered examination bed and remove my shirt. i carefully take off the tie and leave it to one side, and then unbutton my shirt. i sit on the paper, very still because i don't like the rustling crinkling sound it makes when i move. eventually a doctor comes in. he's of spanish descent and has a mustache cut to military precision. he says how are you today doug and i say fine, sir, and he smiles. he puts the stethoscope in his ears and then on my chest. it isn't as cold as usual. he tells me to breath, and breath, and breath again please, and i do. he shines a light in my eye and in my ear and then he presses his fingers into my sides. he asks me if i get headaches if i stand up too fast and i say no. he pulls out a jar from his white coat pocket and lays it on the counter and says okay, the nurse will be with you in a little bit and i say okay. then the nurse comes in and she's got a wart on her chin i just noticed. she takes one of my finger and pricks it- the pain is cool and sends roots into my palm, then slowly fades. she puts the slide into a pocket and then pulls out the needle and sticks it into the bottle. she draws a few cc's then a few more, then lays the needle down and swabs the inside crook of my elbow with iodine after she taps it a few times. Then she picks up the needle, squirts the air bubbles into the sink, and places it on the iodine spot. she is moving very slowly, deliberately, and I can hear her breathing, i cannot hear my own. she places her thumb on the plunger of the hypodermic and slowly pricks it into my vein. the pain is sweet and delicious. she pushes the plunger in and i can feel my fingertips getting cool. she places the iodine swab on top of the needle where it goes into my skin and slowly pulls it out, trying not to tug my skin sideways, but she does it a little anyway and the needle grinds a bit inside my flesh. then it's out and she neatly slaps a bandaid on the hole, right on top a tiny droplet of blood. my blood. that wasn't so bad was it, and i say no ma'am in a dull voice and she ruffles my hair, on which my mom had spent considerably time combing. she forgets to tell me but I put on my shirts and tuck it into my pants, my clip on tie, adjusting it in the mirror, and then i walk back out to the waiting room.

The drive back from the hospital is long enough that Doug falls to sleep just a little bit but he wakes up when they get home. Doug's mom says he has about an hour before the party so try not to get too messy. Doug sits in front of the t.v and plays nintendo. A little bit later they have lunch, which is tuna sandwiches and carrot sticks. In the wintertime, it's soup.

A little bit before two Doug's mom says are you ready and Doug says yes and he turns off the nintendo. His mom walks in and she is wearing nice clothes. Are you going too Doug asks her and she says yes and she kneels in front of Doug and starts to comb his hair. Doug doesn't do anything about it, because if he does she'll just say be quiet and pull his hair harder. You need a haircut, Dougy she says. Then she gets done and stands up and Doug goes to the front door. His mom come up with a pink bundle and it's Susan's robe all wrapped up in paper. It doesn't look very big. Doug's mom tries to take his hand as they walk to the neighbors but Doug pretends he has to tie his shoe and she gets a little bit ahead. She let's Doug ring the doorbell.

Susan's mom answers and says hello! Doug smiles and hands her the present. This is for Susan, and Susan's mom says thank you Doug and open the door wide, come in, come in.

Susan's house smells like flowers and sausages. Susan mom says you can put your shoes right here next to the others and so Doug takes off his shoes and so does his mom. She is wearing pantyhose. Doug walks into the living room and there are lots of people there, playing a game on the coffee table. Susan is wearing a new white dress and she has white pantyhose on too, except they're thick like tights.

Doug joins in the game, while the moms sit in the kitchen and drink coffee. After awhile Susan says she wants to open her presents so Susan's mom comes in with the other moms and sits Susan in the big chair, which is probably her dad's chair. Susan's mom brings her presents one by one. Susan is very polite because she's seven now and she gasps and laughs and gets happy for every single present. She gets a Barbie car and a paint set and a pair of very shiny black shoes. Then Susan's mom gives her Doug's present. Susan rolls it in her hands, putting her head from side to side. I wonder what it is, she says, and then she opens it up. She unfolds it and holds it up. A robe! she shrieks and jumps up. Susan's mom look at Doug's mom and Doug mom shrugs, and Susan's mom smiles. Susan runs over to where Doug is sitting and gives him a big kiss and a hug right in front of everyone!

Susan puts the robe on, on top of her dress and start to dance around. Seven years old and I'm already all growed up she says. Susan's mom laughs and so does Doug's mom a Doug smiles very big. Doug says he loves Susan and i believe him.

After the cake and ice cream everyone goes into the backyard to play on Susan's swings. Doug is second best at tag, and he tries to remember not to tag Susan all the time because it's her birthday. Doug has to go to the bathroom so he waits until the game is over and everybody is back on the swing set. He goes inside and sees the mom's in the living room. Doug remembers to take his shoes off in the kitchen. There's stairs and Doug knows there's a bathroom up there. He walks past Susan's bedroom, which is all pink and yellow. He looks at her bed from the hallway but can''t see all of it or if her shoes are under it or not. Then he sees the bathroom.

Doug walks in and sees the tree wear he hides. Then he turns on the light and there's a reflection on the window and he can't see the tree very good anymore. Doug takes a big breath and starts to think about Arizona for no good reason. He looks at the sink and sees four different bars of soap, and all of them shaped like seashells. i take few breaths and realize the smell in here is exactly like aunt mary's. maybe it's the air freshener, maybe it's the shampoo. i wander over to the toilet and look at it. I really don't have to go that bad, so i just stare at it. i've never seen the toilet before, because the wall hides it from me when i'm in the tree. i walk over to the bathtub. i have seen susan take exactly twelve baths in this tub. i put my hand on the faucet knobs, running my fingers over their bumps, and down on to the faucet itself. a voice behind me says doug and I just stand there. it's susan. you forgot to shut the door she says and i say woops. my lower lip is hanging and i'm afraid i might start to drool a little. i hear the door shut and susan walks up behind me. do you want to here a secret doug she says and i nod my head. she says i have to whisper it in you ear and so i lean a little to the side. she's wearing her new robe but it's open and i can see her pretty white dress underneath it. she cups a hand to my ear and whispers. her breath is hot and raspy and i can feel my self stiffen in my pants. girls have a vagina and boys have penises she says and steps back, her eyes are wide and she's nibbling on her bottom lip. i nod and she starts to giggle, then she stops and squints at me. are you crying doug she says and i say no. thank you for giving me this robe doug she says and i finally look at her and she says you are crying and she takes my hand and says what's wrong and i don't say anything but i say you're welcome and then i say i think i got soap in my eyes and i put my face in the sink and wash it. oh, okay she says and walks out, singing.