https://bukkhead.com/ 2026-05-17T22:24:14+00:00 https://bukkhead.com/ https://bukkhead.com/lib/tpl/dokuwiki/images/favicon.ico text/html 2021-11-02T12:50:48+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=a_can_of_peas&rev=1635879048&do=diff A Can of Peas Portmanteau: squishing two words together to make a new word. Automobile + Robot = Autobot. (from the French word for suitcase) Portnameteau: a portmanteau made of two names. Natalie + Toby = Natoby. Canapeassis: splitting a word in two to describe it's parts. Casserole = Casse + Role. (from the French word for sitting-couch.) text/html 2021-09-23T09:46:59+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=actually_she_s_an_aquarius_but_gemini_makes_the_joke_work_better&rev=1632412019&do=diff Actually, She's An Aquarius, But Gemini Makes the Joke Work Better Erma Bombeck keeps coming up as an answer or a clue on crossword puzzles lately, so I figured I'd go and read a few of her essays. Pieces. Columns? Chapters, whatever. I say 'lately' but the truth is I've been doing archived text/html 2021-09-30T08:28:09+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=biffy_s_eulogy&rev=1633012089&do=diff Biffy's Eulogy Biff, Biffy to his friends, people who didn't like him but didn't hate him, not HATE hate anyway, didn't know how to delete google docs. Occasionally he'd open a new doc, change his mind, and write nothing. But that blank document would be in his folder, waiting for him. You'd think he'd remember the blank one, and use it instead of starting a whole new one. But you wouldn't think that if you were one of Biffy's friends. text/html 2021-09-23T09:30:50+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=carmen_electra&rev=1632411050&do=diff Carmen Electra Coming soon to a theater near you and what army of darkness my old friendly neighborhood spider man of the people's republic of china phillips screwdriver... Joe six-pack abs of steel magnolias is Paul Newman playing Steve McQueen as Charles Brosnon in Sam Peckinah's text/html 2021-09-28T10:16:18+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=celebrating_february_24th&rev=1632845778&do=diff Celebrating February 24th Five years ago today marked the third anniversary of President's Johnson's signing the Efficiency in Narration Act. This, an historic act, included a “fictional truth” loophole that has been used to great success by writers all over the globe. In Sommerset, a small town that takes liberties with the preposition text/html 2021-11-02T13:12:10+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=cogito_argot_sum&rev=1635880330&do=diff Cogito Argot Sum Nothing exists except as an opinion, and that opinion can only be communicated to people who already get it. If you don't know the lingo, you can't know the truth. IG Dangerous Girl. A young lady with remarkable skill and patience spends considerable time applying cosmetics. The result is flawless. Impeccable. Instantly classic. She is beautiful, but why? Not to attract a mate and procreate. Not to impress or suppress a rival. Not even take satisfaction in her own beauty and t… text/html 2021-11-02T12:49:54+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=combat_wombat&rev=1635878994&do=diff Combat Wombat Q: What's a wombat, and why is it in combat? A: A wombat is a small, furry animal from Australia. Wombats are given tactical training in the desert, and then outfitted in battle gear and sent to war-torn parts of the world as mercenaries. Once they arrive, they bivouac, establish supply lines, then approach the battlefield and perform OODA: Orient, Observe, Decide, Act. If, for example, a wombat encounters a minefield, since the wombat is not heavy enough to trip any explosives,… text/html 2021-11-02T12:52:32+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=desmond_tutu_wore_a_tutu_to_tango&rev=1635879152&do=diff Desmond Tutu Wore a Tutu to Tango Reminds me of the time Desmond Tutu wore a tutu to tango and solo-tangoe'd twenty-two times. I believe it was for charity. He raised one dollar and ninety-nine cents, which is a shame. A man of such renown should be able to raise more money by name recognition alone. text/html 2021-09-23T09:42:32+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=don_t_destroy_universes_over_spilt_milk&rev=1632411752&do=diff Don't Destroy Universes Over Spilt Milk [WP] You are absolutely immortal and indestructible, but the universe isn't, and that horrifies you. They say don't cry over spilt milk. Well, I don't. I mean, not regular milk. Cow's milk. Or even goat milk. One time, I cried over some almond milk I spilled, but does that count? Shit's expensive. And then I went and slammed my fist against the table. Broke the table, and the floor underneath it. And the concrete slab my house sits on. And the ground und… text/html 2021-09-30T08:27:12+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=everything_sucks_in_the_rain&rev=1633012032&do=diff Everything Sucks in the Rain Raining, overcast. This city doesn't do partly cloudy, it does partly overcast. Right now it's completely overcasting, and raining. Not so much rain as drizzle. Drizzle with an attitude problem. Drizzle with an inferiority complex. Drizzle trying to impress people from places where rain is actually rain. text/html 2021-11-02T13:22:53+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=full_disclosure&rev=1635880973&do=diff Full Disclosure Writing Prompt: They toured the house with the real estate agent. “We love it,” he said. “Is there anything we should know about the house’s past?” The agent looked down. Her feet, beneath her, were mute, as always. They rarely spoke. On occasion, if she'd been wearing footwear inappropriate for the length of time she'd gone without resting her ample derriere on a convenient, or, for the sake of rest, even inconvenient chaise, they might mention via twinge or gently pulsing ach… text/html 2021-11-02T13:21:25+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=full_frontal_cottage&rev=1635880885&do=diff Full Frontal Cottage Just now, today, literally seconds before I started writing this very sentence, I heard of a thing called “Cottagecore.” Apparently that's when folks are into and promote old-timey chores like gathering berries and making butter by hand and other crafts of that ilk. I think that's wonderful. Make fun of Portlandia hipsters all you want (I do, that is, make fun of them all I want) but if people like something, let them like it, I say. text/html 2021-11-02T13:33:37+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=horrorscope&rev=1635881617&do=diff Horrorscopes Aries: Thoroughness and dedication to detail is what will get you through trying times this week, Aries. For example, be sure to see just how much you have left on your insurance deductible, and if you're even covered for when Xng'th'jlk-frt paralyzes you with his death vision and then emits a soul-scream that literally melts your skin off your bones. text/html 2021-11-02T13:28:01+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=how_to_draw_a_banana&rev=1635881281&do=diff How to Draw a Banana Welcome to Intro to the Overview degree for our How to Draw a Banana doctoral program. In this twelve-week course you will be immersed in the contextual conditions necessary to absorb the preparation for your attempt at becoming a Doctor of Bananas, Drawing (PhDB-D). text/html 2021-11-02T13:10:37+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=how_to_write_a_novel&rev=1635880237&do=diff How to Write a Novel First you're going to need a character and a setting. Frog on a log in a bog. Now, conflict. Alligator. Alligator tries to eat frog, frog runs away, alligator snaps and thrashes, frog sees tree, frog climbs tree. Alligator climbs tree. Alligator breaks a branch and falls down. Frog is safe. Frog is safe? Alligator decides to wait at bottom of tree. text/html 2021-09-29T16:00:07+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=i_came_upon_my_beverly_clearly&rev=1632952807&do=diff Poetry Critique: I Came Upon My Beverly, Clearly “I Came Upon My Beverly, Clearly,” is an anonymous epic poem written in a style utterly unlike anything by Edmund Sears, which tells the story of a man, named Nomens, who reads Ramona The Brave as a child, falls in love with the character, and as he grows, so does she, in his mind and his fantasies about her: text/html 2021-11-02T13:24:40+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=instagram_reporting&rev=1635881080&do=diff Instagram Reporting I read Google News every day. Mostly I read the “For You” section. And what’s great is how Google remembers which stories I click on then populates the next day’s offering with more of the same. For example, I clicked on a story about QE2 once a few months ago and now I get to see what England’s Head-Figure-Honcho is up to (today, she sent a birthday card to a friend). text/html 2021-09-29T17:22:13+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=kitchen_rules&rev=1632957733&do=diff Kitchen Rules 1. You are not allowed to touch the microwave for any reason whatsoever, which includes but not limited to: for cooking, to clean it, to repair it, to take it off the wall for repairs, to take it out of the box it was shipped in to the repair facility, to repair it, to repackage it, to unpack it again and re-mount it in the kitchen, or to hide the remote in it. This also applies to rule 4 below. text/html 2022-01-06T11:13:35+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=life_s_a_gift_ain_t_it&rev=1641492815&do=diff Writing Prompt: You are sitting outside your house, enjoying the dying embers of the campfire when two glowing eyes open to stare at you. “ Greetings, ” it rasped, “ may I share your fire tonight?” Life’s a Gift, Ain’t It? Beer’s almost gone, fire’s almost out, wife’s probably asleep by now, thank god, I can go inside and see how bad I did with the fantasy football this week. Life’s a gift, ain’t it? text/html 2021-09-24T08:28:20+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=look_up_there&rev=1632493700&do=diff Look up There! Look up there! On top of that building! No, not that one, that one! Right there! No, next to that one. Yes, the brown one. I know, they're all brown, the browner one. Yes, that one. No, up on top! The top part of the top! Not the water tower! The top part of the top below the water tower top! Fine, below the top of the water tower, but above where the bottom of the water tower would be if we could see it. Yes I'm sure it's there! How else would the water tower be there if it didn… text/html 2021-11-04T12:14:24+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=matchup&rev=1636049664&do=diff Matchup! Write a story featuring a pathological liar, a cow, and a cardboard box. Jamie signed his name at the bottom of the painting, on the side of a cardboard box, of a cow, then put the box on a shelf next to other boxes with similarly bucolic paintings. text/html 2021-12-21T10:15:07+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=month_of_frankensteins&rev=1640106907&do=diff I had the privileged of sitting down with Dargtanon Longitude Green, lead singer of the esteemed kid's emo metal band Month of Frankensteins. Here is an excerpt from our interview. Let's start with you name. D'artagnan. Am I pronouncing that right? text/html 2021-11-04T12:12:53+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=new_holiday&rev=1636049573&do=diff New Holiday Writing Prompt: Come up with a new holiday. Explain why and how it should be celebrated. Next week is Armless Day. It's a day for celebrating people who do not have arms. Take it how you want. People who literally have no appendages dangling from their shoulders. Or people who don't have guns. Think of it like this. Armistice Day is the day we celebrate the end of world war something. Armistice, armisless, armsless, armless. Not much of a stretch. And you can't carry guns if you do… text/html 2021-12-21T10:41:44+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=nursery_rhyme_mumble_rap&rev=1640108504&do=diff Nursery Rhyme Mumble Rap Mary had little Lamb fleece was white as snow and followed her school one day I don't know else to say She should talk lil bo peep that girl gone lost her sheep leave 'em lone back again shave that shit cardigan Miss Muffet whatsa tuffet? text/html 2021-09-28T09:34:35+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=please_follow_these_instructions_carefully&rev=1632843275&do=diff Please Follow These Instructions Carefully At the reception desk, hand the receptionist your code card. The receptionist will enter your code into a database to determine which door to take. This is a somewhat time-consuming task, as it is recorded in our proprietary block chain. Feel free to use the restroom while you wait, or log into our portal and read our history. The wifi password is HotLavaPitofDeath. text/html 2021-09-23T09:32:41+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=scum_manifesto_a_book_review&rev=1632411161&do=diff SCUM Manifesto, by Valerie Solanas, a book review I have not read SCUM Manifesto but I'm already mad. Based on what little I know. A woman self-publishes a tirade, then tries to shoot Andy Warhol. She goes to a cracker house, and years later, an erudite and connected academic pens an intro and they sell the shit on the internet. text/html 2021-09-30T08:29:34+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=sidebar&rev=1633012174&do=diff Recently Published: The Mister #monologue #absurd Carmen Electra #absurd #wordassociation SCUM Manifesto, a book review #reviews #screed Don't Destroy Universes Over Spilt Milk #writingprompts #absurd Actually, She's An Aquarius, But Gemini Makes the Joke Work Better #personalessay #medium The King is I #fantasy #silly Look Up There! #monologue #wordswordswords Please Follow These Instructions Carefully #silly #rules I Came Upon My Beverly, Clearly #poetry #satire #adult Kitchen Rules … text/html 2021-09-30T08:28:49+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=speed_dating&rev=1633012129&do=diff Speed Dating Hello, My name is Terrence Von Diesel. I am a vampire. It's extremely nice to meet you. I must say, you have a very nice neck. And how are you today? My apologies. I know that can be a bit off-putting. I'm a bit of an expert, you see, and, well, sometimes I can't help but admire. Never fear, I'm not planning on biting you. Not yet! Just a joke. Please, sit down. text/html 2022-01-06T11:10:00+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=start&rev=1641492600&do=diff Bukkhead Creative Writing This is a collection of all the writing I've ever done, the good the bad and the ugly. Also the fugly, the mofugly, and the really really bad stuff, like poetry. I'm using Dokuwiki because I haven't found any other way to organize the ~500,000 words I've written. (That's not an exaggeration, by the way. Even if most of it is mofugly. text/html 2021-11-04T12:11:09+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=super_is_as_super_does&rev=1636049469&do=diff Super is as Super Does WP: One member of the team of superheroes has no powers. He just brings out the best in them. Gilligan walked into the Hall of Heroes break room, and found Shark Man hunched over a cup of coffee. “Hey fella. How's it hangin'? Gilligan said. text/html 2021-11-02T13:29:22+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=tantra_flopp_n&rev=1635881362&do=diff Tantra Flopp'n So there's this kid who likes three things: dungeons and dragons, sitting under a blanket on the couch with his girlfriend and watching TV, and combinatorial mathematics. So one day he and his girlfriend are under a blanket with each other on the couch watching TV, something like the reboot of Good Times starring Homicide: Life on the Street'ss Andre Brauer. And one of them says something about how they like to cuddle, and the other one says they like to snuggle too, and the one… text/html 2021-09-24T08:15:37+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=the_king_is_i&rev=1632492937&do=diff The King is I Reginald The Third, in his finest purple velvets and snowy-white ermines and shining golds, strode magnificently into the throne room, head held high, higher than usual, perhaps higher that it had ever been held, held high above his shoulders and the place where it had been severed from his neck, with only a small tell-tale splatter of blood on his chin. He tried to shout something to match the look of absolute outrage on his face, but owing to his head and neck being not connecte… text/html 2021-09-22T12:50:15+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=the_mister&rev=1632336615&do=diff The Mister Hello madam, and welcome to the Griffin Farms Winery and Leather Recovery Visitors Center. Today we are offering guests a rare treat: a sample of our 2006 Pinot Gregarious, a playful overture of spicy anise and cultured Ethiopian yeast, with a hint of cherry bark and just a whiff of campho-phenique. We call it Misty Mister. text/html 2021-09-29T17:26:13+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=the_xirtam&rev=1632957973&do=diff The Xirtam Welcome to your first day at AT&T-Mobilazon! We're excited to have you here. At some three hundred million employees, such excitement is literally palpable: using pesio-electric technology and leather straps, we have literally channelled that excitement into batteries that offset our global footprint by nearly three tenths of a percent! text/html 2021-11-04T11:27:56+00:00 Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) https://bukkhead.com/doku.php?id=your_writing_pseudonym&rev=1636046876&do=diff Your Writing Pseudonym. Writing Prompt: You’re afraid that your name and personality just don’t fit your writing style. To help sell your work, come up with a pseudonym and an alter ego for it. Tex McNabb. Call me Tex. My real name. Some folks say, what's your baby name. I tell 'em I don't got one. The say nah. The name they called you when you was born. I say I don't got one. That shuts 'em up.