Postaday for January 24th: Once Upon a Time. Tell us about something that happened to you in real life last week — but write it in the style of a fairy tale.6
All good stories start with “once upon a time,” and this one is no different, except for the first five words, which don’t count, as this opening is nothing more than a lampshade. By happy coincidence, our hero is called Grunner Lampshade, and he was, as our story begins, the saddest hairy bunny bear in the land.65
One day Grunner was running through the streets of Seattle. The sun was shining and the breeze was laughing. But poor Grunner, he didn’t even notice. He was desperately searching for something. And the more he looked, the more he ran. And the more he ran, the more anxious he became. Would he ever find what he was looking for?
There was sweat on poor Grunner’s brow, and a fire in his hair bunny bear chest. But all seemed lost. And then, as he made his way along Roosevelt, just south of 65th street, having spent so much time climbing up from the depths where Harvard ave runs into Eastlake, can you guess what Grunner saw?
Why, it was a Liquor Elf! “Hello!” said the l’elf.
Grunner finally stopped running. The l’elf was dressed in nothing more than a pair of shorts, which for this story we’ll call a loincloth. He smelled of booze. “Hello,” said Grunner, cautiously.
“Can you help me? I am lost,” said the l’elf. “I come from a far away land called Las Angeles. I am here visiting a friend. I went for a run this morning, and now I can’t find my friend’s house!”
Grunner put his hands on his hips. What he didn’t say was, “You smell like booze, Liquor Elf! I bet you just woke up in some stranger’s house after a night of excess and glee.” Instead what Grunner said was, “Okay, I’ll help you. What do you remember?”
The Liquor Elf scratched his curly crown. “Um, 94th and Dayton?”
Grunner smacked his head. “Oh no! That’s three miles from here!”
The Liquor Elf smacked his forehead. “Oh no!”
But then Grunner forgot that he was looking for something, and said, “Well, I guess I can take you there. Come on!” And off they went, running west instead of north like Grunner had been running before.
Up one hill they went, and then down another, and around a green lake (called Greenlake), and then up a very steep hill, until they arrived.
“Here we are!” said Grunner.
“Oh, thank you so much! I never would have find it without you!” the Liquor Elf said. He waved, and disappeared behind a small house.
Grunner went up the hill a little further, to Greenwood. He decided to walk to his house. And you know what? He found what he was looking for! A great big smile, the whole way home.
The end.