Postaday for May 12th: Those Dishes Won’t Do Themselves. What’s the household task you most dislike doing? Why do you think that is — is it the task itself, or something more?
Sexism alert! I’m a man, and I do most of the chores around the house. Yes, yes, I do expect lauds and praises.
Just kidding. The truth is, I work from home, while my wife pulls ten-hour shifts. It only makes sense that I’d do most of the cleaning. In between conference calls and project deadlines, I can toss in a load of laundry, wash some dishes, and so forth. Its pretty easy. We have a service that comes in once every few weeks to give everything a good scrubbing, so all I have to do is keep things more or less tidy.
And I like listening to podcasts, so it’s sort relaxing to put on The Morning Stream and get up to my elbows in suds. Or walk around the house to our one thousand trash cans (I exaggerate) on garbage day. Or stand in the laundry room sunshine (it has the best window in our whole house) and sort the hots from the colds.
I guess the one chore I hate the most is getting rid the dead ninjas.
We get attacked by ninjas on fairly regular basis. It used to be traditional medieval Japanese ninjas, but lately it’s been all manner of ninja, pretty much just dudes wearing black pajamas and masks. They come in through the windows, the skylight, the back door. One even rang the doorbell and was disguised as a UPS guy. I saw right through it, though- most UPS guys don’t carry katanas on their backs.
When my wife wanted to sign up for an alarm service I scoffed, and when the guy said we could have a nidja-deterrent system added on for an extra fee, I double-scoffed. But my wife had a Groupon, so we decided to try it. Boy, was my face red the first time we found a ninja in the ninja-trap!
It used to be one or two a week, which isn’t bad. Our city picks up garbage once a week, and recycling every other week, and dead ninjas every other non-recycling week. I admit it, I sometimes lose track. I say to my wife “Is this recycling week or dead ninja week?” And she’s all like “I don’t know, check the flyer on the fridge!”
But lately it’s been or two dead ninjas per night. And that so-called defense system isn’t getting all of ‘em. There was one in my car the other day, which I had to take care of myself. Thankfully I was at a red light— the last thing I need is a DWKN.
So god forbid if I somehow forget to put the dead ninjas out on dead ninja week. They stack up, fast, and the bin the city gave us isn’t always big enough for all of them. I know, I’m allowed to stack up the excess next to the bin on the curb, but, I feel bad. I can just imagine my neighbor getting up and heading to work. The last thing she needs to see is a bunch if dead ninjas blown by the wind all over her driveway.
Then again, more than once her trash bag full of dead pirates has split open, and I never said a thing. That’s just what you get if you use cheap bags. And talk about smell! Phew!
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