The baby weighs a ton today.
I don’t mean literally, of course.
The heaviest person of all time,
Jon Minnoch, was 1400 pounds,
And 35 years old, not 6 months.
Still, if it would have been my job to
Pick up Jon Minnoch, console him,
Cool his feverish brow, pat his back,
Wipe away the drool, coo in his ear,
I probably would have had assistance.