I’m so desperate to get back into the habit of writing that I went old-skool today. Here are 15 “facts” that I wrote. If, for some unholy reason, you want to read over 1000 more, go take a look at: Utterly Amazing Trivia. And may God have mercy on your soul (and mine too).
Armadillos are classified on the Borgl-Mimmich scale according to how often they reject pieces of cheese before finally eating one. The Case-Lynchy Armadillo farm in East Westin Texas once bred an armadillo rated at over 22.13 BMs!
Animals that eat animals are carnivores. Carnivores that eat carnivores and carmacarnivores. Carmacarnivores that eat carmicarnivores are carmacamelivores. James Spentwith, of Wigglesport, England, is the only human being on record who is a licensed carmacemelivore (and source 1983’s hit song by Culture Club).
Toilet paper accounts for roughly 95% of all paper waste flushed down toilets in 87% of households in countries starting and ending with different letters.
Earwigs were named for Sir Lord James Doctor Basington Earl Tannebaum Wig of Whig, although many consider this to be apocryphal. The misapprehension stems from a transcription error, a typewriter with a misfiring “L” key, and seven pints of Old World Leather Tonic.
“There is no “I” in team” is a mistranslation of the Gaellic “there’s no ayes in team,” a phrase from the contrarians school of philosophy. Interestingly, this was itself a mistranslation of “no eyes team,” motto of an ancient Druidic olfactory club; the phrase went on to say “only noses.”
If you take all of the pyramids ever constructed (in both Africa and South America) and arrange them in a circle according to age, the musical scale represented by such a loop would almost perfectly match the background score for the video game titled “Sonic 5, Sonic Fights Mimes.”
Koala bears born between August 23rd and September 22nd are considered “Virgos,” and hence the term “bear,” despite their being marsupials. This is a subtle joke (hint: Ursa Major).
In addition to a visual “blind spot,” people also have an auditory blind spot, as well as many little tactile blinds spots. These can usually be ignored. But the tasting blind spot is exploited by spices that mimic pepper in body and camphor, but lack the requisite gris-a-tete of traditional peppers. The good news is this will only be a factor at elevations between 215 and 234 feet.
Avocados get their color from a chemical process.
When the elevator was invented, it was marveled as a masterpiece of modern engineering. Today, the only remnant of that marvel is an awards banquet held biannually for nominees who have submitted elegant call-button designs. Joe Hammertongue won the award five straight times!
“Rats and cats, bats and brooms, you can’t catch a thrush without mushrooms.” This old nursery rhyme was taught as a mnemonic device to remember the Basque names for vertebrae.
Mercury was originally the third planet from the sun, but was moved in closer in an initial failed attempt to order the planets by size. Alas, we still have winter.
Of the four women with whom Adolf Hitler was alleged to have been in a relationship, at least one can be traced forward through lineage, acquaintanceship, and proximity-in-queues to people who are similarly related to individuals that have something or another to do with every major conservative pundit in America.
A calendar was proposed by the now defunct Belgium House of Representative Parliamentary Lords that was to based on the gestation period of a Sand Shark. When it was shown that sand sharks develop two embryos, one of which eats the other, this only redoubled the committee’s efforts.
Rain that falls at angle oblique to the tangent of the average (local) curve of geographical features set at a few degrees below the horizon is called, meteorologically “handsome rain,” and 4 out of 5 cowboys surveyed, when asked, will insist that they can, in fact, “quit handsome rain.” Only one in four actually does.
