(transcript, as it were, of the slam-style poem I read at my Birthday party, as requested)
Voila! In view, a humble vaudevillian clown, trying to get down, here in downtown, south of downtown, for my white friends and my brown, with my nonsense and my non-rhymes, all up in your face in this little space where we’ve gathered from near and far, from Chicago and Fremont and London, our nice little bar, to get good and drunk because I’m funnier inebriated, this belated celebration, itself a negation of the body’s tendency to break down as it ages, pages of life’s novel crumpled as much from rereading as the fell damages of existence, half-hearted resistance against wrinkles and saggings and soar-throated braggings of what we were like when were faster and stronger and foolish and wronger but better looking and taller and nevermind the squalor I’ll clean my room later don’t be a hater I’m as mean as Darth Vader if you get between me and my desires, those unquenchable fires filling my belly with urges and the courage to splurge the few precious seconds we have between screaming lamb and croaking goat on frivolities, ephemera, posing for digital cameras in nightclubs sadistic and pickup lines simplistic begging for lipstick stains on body parts otherwise hidden, forbidden graffiti illustrating a personality masticating the scenery and obscenely estranging any sense of decency since such stupidity should only be reserved for conservative jerks who wouldn’t know a good time if they were wearing rubber pants in a car wash and dancing to the squeaky clean beats of DJ Hell Yes and his rock-steady cleats on life’s AstroTurf with a Nerf gun thrumming foam bullets of fun all up in your grill and when the bill comes due, when I’m supposed to be through, when there’s nothing left to do, at least I can say I’ve got all of you, my friends, my family, father and mother, sister-in-law and brother, and over there my number one lover, the one I take under the covers to discover how awesome it is to be one with another (ya damn right I love her) and the rest of you got to know I love you all too, which is why I say thank-you, for being here, for drinking beer, and even if I’m not funny, I know you love me, so laugh off your rear, or shed a tear, and never fear, I mean never forget, I may be 40, but I ain’t done yet.